Tuesday 11 October 2016

Maybe It's Because...




I’m always asked to write about anything I want. Anything. I find it so difficult to decide. I’m either constantly jumping from one idea to the next and finding something wrong with each idea, or I sit there staring at my screen for hours, drawing the biggest mind blank possible.


Today I was asked to write about anything I wanted. I legitimately couldn't think of anything. Maybe its because I don’t know what profession I want to go into, which is a totally separate issue, but I’ve always thought that maybe because I don’t have a go-to passion, I don’t have a go-to idea. What kind of person doesn’t have a passion? Now that I think of it, my passions are dance and fashion, you know, girly stuff, but to be honest that's just something that keeps me busy now. A dancer isn’t a stable career path and I could never compete with Chanel or Louis Vuitton. So, who am I? What will I be?
People always ask me “Hey Sofia, what do you want to be when you’re older?” and I usually tell them I want to be a Marine Biologist, just to end the conversation. Because trust me, I’ve had about 50 lectures about how it's important to know what you want to do. It’s not fun. And when my friends ask me what I want to be, I say “I dunno” then laugh and shrug it off, but I really don’t know what I want and that worries me a little bit. Meanwhile, all my other friends have their life planned out by the second, while I don’t even know what field I want to be in.
My family, friends, and former teachers tell me that I have a gift for writing but I honestly don’t see it. To me, it’s just writing what I’m thinking. I am normally a better writer than this but I thought that I would make this a very personal essay, and when I write very personally, my writing becomes very casual and laid back. I don’t like it, but it’s easier to get out my thoughts and ideas so I won’t complain. Even if I am a good writer, I still don’t know what I would do. Do I follow that path? Do I wait for something better? I always watch tv shows with characters who don’t have their life in order, and they push through and end up being a fashion designer. I know life isn’t a tv show, but even if it was, I wouldn’t be a fashion designer.

But who knows what the future holds? I guess I’ll just have to wait to find out like everyone else.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, your writing allowed me to get into your head. Your friends, former teachers and family were right, you do have a gift for writing.

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